4 posts tagged “jobs”
I'm going to need an intervention shorty... more so for the Utz potato chips (fried in LARD, no less) than for the beer... even though I'm now totally addicted to Miller Chill, too.
And speaking of bad things and beer, Sam Adams recalls its beer. Seems that I switched over to cheap beer just in time.
And finally, a [this is good]. But first, I must make you all play that same stupid game I always make you play: The one called: Which one of these statements is true:
A. Teresa has a new job
OR
B. Teresa has a new boyfriend
OR
C. Teresa has a beer belly just in time for her new job and/or to show her new boyfriend
1. Roses and/or similar delivered to door: 0
2. Lunch and/or dinner invitations issued from member of opposite sex: 0
3. Lustful looks from men: 2 (but old and ugly and suspect one was toothless so doesn't count)
4. Pepperidge Farms Cookie bags in house: 1-1/2 (But is Bordeaux cookies and rather thin so really only count as 1/4 of total bag actually eaten)
5. Alcoholic beverages consumed: 1 glass. (But is cheap supermarket Spumante so more like drinking Kool-Aid).
6: Job rejections: 1 (Didn't want to work for you anyway!)
7. Blogs I will be avoiding: 2 (this one and this one)
8. Romantic evening plans: 1 (Curl up in afghan and lust after Sawyer on LOST.
An excellent days work!
A) A new hair dresser
B) A new job
C) A new set of friends and/or relatives
D) All of the above
Answer: D) All of the above
A. My hair dresser put this "new" concoction in my hair and didn't even mention it to me before she did it. She just did if as if she knew best. While I was sitting in the chair, something felt wrong and I asked her about it, causing her to fess up and tell me that she wouldn't use it on me again. Hello, you're not even going to get the chance!
B. Same shit, different job. I won't even bore you with explanations.
C. Have you ever just decided that you hate everyone you know around the holidays and at the end of the year? I know it's only the bah-humbug setting in early. Everyone just seems so full of themselves and touchy-feely. I keep threatening to go off on my own for Christmas and wallow in misery just to get away from the happyitis going on all around me. I never seem to make it.
Are you in the IT field. Do you desperately need a job? (I know that is a ridiculous question) I say desperate because the job is located at Fort Snelling... in the wilds of Minnesota. I was working there this time last year. It's a nice area. Right Patty? (...um, er, do you know anyone?)
See, the thing is, I really could use the referral bonus for this job...a bonus that is about 500% more than the regular referral bonus. Christmas is coming after all.
Anyway, here is the info:
Job Description
This position will be responsible for the administration and maintenance of the organizations existing Intranet web site, and the development and implementation of new solutions utilizing SharePoint and other enterprise applications. Under general direction, designs and builds web pages and applications using a variety of programming software applications, techniques, and tools in adherence to Federal regulations. Designs and develops user interface features and on-line applications for the management, tracking, and reporting of information. Responsible for the configuration and maintenance of the IIS and SQL servers. Responsible for the transition of information from the existing Intranet web site to a SharePoint environment. Responsible for the development and life-cycle of the SharePoint site; including plan, build, deploy, and maintenance. The ideal candidate will have experience in a SharePoint environment utilizing collaboration tools to increase the efficiency of business processes and improve team productivity by helping people across organizational and geographic boundaries access to the information and documentation they need.
Required
Skills
Requires a bachelor’s degree in an IT related field or equivalent years of technical experience. Understanding of web-based technologies and knowledge of Microsoft.NET, HTML, Javascript, Classic ASP, ASP.Net, SQL, DTS packages, stored procedures and/or other development-related applications. Thorough knowledge of SharePoint architecture, security model, and configuration options. Experience administering Microsoft IIS and SQL Servers and Microsoft Office SharePoint Server. This position requires strong interpersonal and communication skills with the ability to translate documented business requirements into delivered solutions. The ability to work both independently and as a member of a team, with limited supervision. Desired Skills include: project management and knowledge/content management experience.
Job Location
Fort Snelling, MN
Position Type
Full-Time/Regular
Must be able to obtain a Secret Clearance
That means, crack-heads and child support dodgers need not apply.
If you would like to apply or know of someone, say, currently lounging on your sofa and eating your food who needs a job, leave me a message above, but only if you are serious.
Super, thanks!!
